Mulder

Special FBI agent Mulder reporting for duty!

Scully and I have had falling out, & now I am on the look out for a new (feline) partner to continue my investigation into pet Life.

We have worked for many months investigating extraterrestrials and government conspiracies, but now it's time for me to start collecting data on what birds tweet outside and what noises are coming from down the hallway in my new home.

Scientifically, I know that you are not an alien, but the fact you don't purr or have 4 legs still makes us think you are some kind of mutant. Like all good FBI agents, I will remain in the shadows, observing what kind of creature you are until I come to a safe conclusion that you can join the team as one of our rookies. One thing I will never understand are those tiny, loud creatures that run around for no reason at all... kids.

Your first duty as my assistant will be to pick up my poop and feed me my favourite foods, and if you don't comply in a timely manner, you will be the monster of the week.

Like all good detectives, I work best when in a pair so neither of us start chasing wild theories, and instead just chase wild string toys, hence the search for a new partner. Ready for us to protect your home and heart?