Lady Martha is my name. Always being classy and stylish is my fortay. I am not an ordinary cat. I am the cat which embodies what a true cat should be. Here are somethings that you should know about me:
• I’m 3-year-old but I act like a grown up cat.
• I always like to have my feet on the ground. I don’t like to be picked up and carried around like a baby. That is so passe.
• I keep myself groomed all the time. When I’m not feeding or sleeping, you will find me grooming to myself. A sophisticated lady like me should always look presentable.
• I’m gifted. Yes, I’m. I can and will eat a lot without putting on extra weight. How about this for a superpower.
• In reward of all your services, I will reward you with head bumps and will rub against your legs. If you like to listen me purr then you will have to sit down at my level and give me head scratches. My human needs to put in some effort to earn my purring.
• I’m not a chatterbox like some other cats are. You will hear me talking only when I’m hungry.
• I don’t like human beds. They are messy. They smell like humans. I want a separate bed of my own which should be in a quiet place where I can relax and sleep at will. I can guarantee that my bed will always be smelling fresh like daisies.
• My human will need to be patient with me. I take time to build trust.
• I’m litter trained. I’m so discreet in using my litter tray that you won’t even see me using the tray.
• I have a fluffy tail. You can brush me. If you do that, it will earn you brownie points.
• Once you have earned enough points, I will groom your hand when I’m getting head scratches.
• I don’t like other cats or small kids. I want to be queen of my house and be not chased around by toddlers or young kids.
• Whenever I’m eating, I will always tuck in my tail gracefully. Like I mentioned before I’m sophisticated.
• If I’m in mood, I might play with strings but then also my human needs to come to me and offer me the string. I’m not gonna move from my place because that is too much effort.

Now go back and read all of this in a classic British accent.