Emmy

Lights. Camera. Action.

The world is a stage and I, I am front and centre.

You, you will agree that I have more than earned the right to my self-nominated and landslide win of "Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series".

But Diva, I am not.

Life should be all about the smiles. About the laughs. About joy and about living. You will shine simply by being in my orbit. You will have the very real need to express your gratitude via the provision of hugs, kisses and treats. Perhaps a tiara if you have one handy.

My home is my castle and my only demand be a gated community for although opportunity provides temptation I'm really more than content to stay within such secure boundaries.

Young, old and in between I welcome all into my entourage. You will perhaps reward such honour with a friendly and playful canine friend. Don't have one in the immediate family? Never fear for I would be happy to host regular extended family reunions.

Forget the Golden Globes, the Tony's or the Grammy's.... your life is only worthy of an Emmy.

Speak to my agent, stat.