Raymond

They call me Raymond.

The night was quiet. Too quiet. A single glass sat dangerously close to the edge of the table... and I knew what had to be done.

With the grace of a tiny panther and the judgment of a disappointed landlord, I approached. One paw. Pause. Eye contact. Another paw.

Push.

The glass fell.

Justice was served.

But this is not just a story of bravery. This is a story about your future.

Picture it: a home once dull, now filled with suspense, mystery, and occasional, completely avoidable chaos. You'll laugh as I chase invisible enemies. You'll question reality as I sprint down the hallway at midnight. You'll feel honoured as I choose you as my favourite human (temporary, performance-based).

And at the end of each dramatic day, I'll curl up beside you, purring like nothing ever happened-like I didn't just knock over your entire sense of peace.

Adopting me means choosing excitement, comedy, and a tiny, slightly unhinged best friend named Raymond.

The real question is... are you ready for this level of responsibility?

- Raymond 🐾