Cat-astrophe looms in pet-lovers divorce

As far as divorces go, this one sounded smooth - no kids, just a house and a pile of property.

But as Barb Waring and her ex divvied up couches, cars and other assets, they found themselves in an emotional battle over the one piece of property with a pulse: Otis, the cat.

"It was agonizing," said Waring. "The other stuff didn't matter. Deciding who would keep Otis - that was the hardest thing."

In the court's eyes, the black-and-white tuxedo cat was no different than a lawn mower or Denby dinnerware.

And, indeed, some couples view their pets the same way. With no love lost, jilted partners might abandon a dog or a cat with as little thought as dumping their old squeeze's CDs.

But in many American households, pets and their owners have reached an emotional zenith. Surveys say more than 60 percent of homes have pets. In 2005, Americans spent more than $36 billion on their furry family members. When breakups happen, the destiny of dogs, cats and birds can turn into a tug of war similar to child-custody battles.

The animals also suffer. "This can affect the routine of the dog," said John Wright, professor of psychology at Mercer University and a certified animal behaviorist. "Dogs and cats are sensitive to these changes. They can get depressed or angry."

Twenty years ago, Atlanta divorce attorney Shiel Edlin was dismissive when a client wanted him to go to battle for a dog.

"I told him I didn't go to law school to do doggie visitation," he said.

But during that divorce process, a veterinarian scolded him for his flippant attitude.

Edlin said he's learned the loss of a pet during a breakup can be more heart-wrenching than losing money and material things.

"We would like to say that we can buy you another poodle," said Edlin. "But that doesn't work. ... And this is something I now take very, very seriously."

Edlin said some couples negotiate with season tickets to the ballet or a sports car or cash to gain custody of a pet.

And if both sides dig in their heels, they draft a visitation plan, he said.

Divorce attorney Bob Boyd said he urges couples to consider who is the primary caretaker - the person who walks the dog, feeds the dog and makes sure the dog is up-to-date on its shots.

He also suggests the splitting couple take into account their post-divorce schedules and living situations to determine who can better accommodate the pet.

Cheryl Lynn Hepfer, president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, said while pets don't have any elevated status on the books, most judges are sensitive to those couples struggling with the fate of the family pet.

"We are not talking about a piano here," said Hepfer.

Veterinarian Dr. Michael Good said the disputes reflect the changing relationships Americans have with their pets.

Dogs, for example, mostly sleep indoors, often on a cozy bed with husband and wife. And as more couples decide not to have kids, pets are treated more like children than an animal that drinks out of the toilet.

Elizabeth Sarabia has watched her fawn-colored dachshund, George, become more reclusive after her divorce about five years ago.

At the time, Sarabia and her ex-husband, Doug Taylor, thought George would be more comfortable staying with Sarabia and the three puppies.

But the dog has struggled without Taylor's constant companionship.

"He's always been serious," said Sarabia, a 47-year-old registered nurse who lives in Atlanta. "But now, he kind of mopes around and sits around all day."

Taylor now visits George at least once a month. They often snuggle up and watch a movie together.

"I was given visitation privileges, and I take advantage of it," said Taylor. "Our dogs are like our de facto kids."

But what if the love for the pet is not reciprocal?

"Sometimes, a woman will call up and say, 'My boyfriend gave me this big Lab, and now every time I look at the dog, I think of my ex-boyfriend. Will you take him?'" said Susan Feingold, executive director of Fulton County Animal Services, adding that her office receives calls almost every day from newly split couples who want to unload their pet.

Feingold said her staff refers couples to no-kill shelters and offers free shots and food for those dumping their pets for financial reasons.

"I tell them, this too shall pass, things will get better, and you will be happy you have the dogs," she said, suggesting pets can provide comfort during a rough time.

 At PAWS Atlanta, a no-kill shelter outside Decatur, Ga., most orphaned dogs and cats suffer stress-related woes, said executive director Jeff Roberts. Some of the cats obsessively lick their fur. Dogs sometimes experience trust issues, become aggressive and give up house training.

When a Dalmatian, Sadie, arrived in November after a divorce, she was alternately timid and aggressive in her cage, according to staff members. But staff and volunteers have given Sadie a routine and one-on-one attention that includes regular walks on a woodsy 1-acre trail behind the kennels.

Roberts said staff and volunteers will even sit in a cage with a dog to help it adjust to the shelter and help the dog be "adoptable" into a new family.

At Feathered Friends Forever, a refuge for unwanted birds, animals arrive with infections and obsessive feather plucking.

"By the time we get them, they are half naked, plucked and vicious," said Ron Johnson, founder of the bird haven in Augusta. They are totally stressed out. And we try to nurse them back to health."

Johnson estimates 60 of the 470 birds arrived there as a result of a divorce or courtship gone sour.

Take Bailey, an ivory umbrella cockatoo who loves to chew on wooden toys.

She arrived at the sanctuary after her owners, a Florida couple, divorced. Each ex sends $25 per month of birdie support and visits Bailey at least once a year.

In the case of Waring and her cat, she decided the best solution was to let Otis stay in Colorado with her ex-husband. Waring moved on to Atlanta solo.

But even though it's been more than a decade since their divorce, Waring still feels an occasional pang about her kitty, now almost 20 years old.

"I sometimes regret it," said Waring, who visited Otis during a recent trip to Colorado. "But I know his life was better."

Reference: www.masslive.com

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